Dorothy Mantooth is a Saint

Sports, pop culture, and politics, Pittsburgh-style, with french fries on top.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Upcoming Big Ben Injuries / Maladies

To celebrate the Steelers' first win of the season (and without their starting quarterback, even), here's a list of injuries and medical conditions that we're sure will cause Ben Roethlisberger to miss future games:

  • Carbuncles
  • Speared through heart by Monongahela Stingray
  • Boogie fever (I hear it's goin' around)
  • (tie) Accidentally scorched by a disrespected Joey Porter's rage, which burns with the intensity of a thousand suns / Contracted mono from Joey's sweet, sweet kisses
  • Dead ball
  • Taking the browns to the super bowl (severe diarrhea)
Thanks to for letting us use the Ben "operation" picture. And by that, I mean we blatantly stole it.

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