Dorothy Mantooth is a Saint

Sports, pop culture, and politics, Pittsburgh-style, with french fries on top.

Friday, March 23, 2007

So Many Questions

"These are not the unmarked bills you're looking for."

National City Bank has reported a robbery, apparently by a Jedi knight who's been seduced by the dark side of The Force. Carrying a bomb, she said she was. WTAE has the story here.

I'm always fascinated by the bank robbers and I have so many questions:

  • If you enter the bank and there are customers waiting, do you get in line and patiently wait for your turn? Or just bust straight up to the front of the line?
  • When you finally get to the teller, do you quietly tell them why you're there, so as not to draw attention to yourself? Or do you go balls out and let everybody know what's happening and increase your chance of a random person taking you down?
  • Getaway car: discreetly parked in the lot? Or in the fire lane for quick access?
  • Should you steal the pen that's chained down, too, just so they know you mean business?
  • What's the best threat of choice? Gun? Bomb? Knife? Taser? Telling them you have Ben Roethlisberger in an undisclosed location and you'll off him if they don't give you the dough (Pittsburgh only)?
  • Do you ditch your Jedi robe immediately after leaving or keep it on the whole way home?



Anonymous Woy said...

I bet she waved her hand in front of the teller and said, "You would like to give me all your money."

11:27 AM  
Blogger J.T. said...

"Join me and together we shall end this destructive conflict and bring order to National City."

I just realized it's Saturday night and I'm writing Star Wars quotes on my blog. Things can only get better, right?

10:21 PM  
Anonymous Woy said...


11:41 PM  

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