Good Humor Man

We have a new claim to fame here in the Burgh; we're now officially home to the world's angriest Ice Cream Man, Nazzareno Didiano:

"The woman told investigators Didiano started screaming and cursing at her in front of children, saying she was hurting his business. Then, she said, he went back to his truck and pulled out a knife and threatened her before slashing her truck's tires."
-The Pittsburgh Channel

As a tribute to Mr. Didiano, here's a song we wrote, sung to the tune of Van Halen's Ice Cream Man:

♪ Now summertime's here babe, I'm tryin' not to lose my cool
Ah now summertime's here babe, I'm tryin' not to lose my cool
Better look out now though, Nazz got somethin for you
Tell ya what it is

I'm your ice cream man, stab you when I'm passin' by
Oh my my
I'm your ice cream man, stop me and I'll slash your tire
Kill all my competition, gonna make another fat kid cry
Hold on a second baby

I'll shove a big Scooter Crunch,
ah, up your butt
Sideways and straight up too
I'm your ice cream man, baby, stop me and I'll slash your tire
Kill all my competition, gonna make another fat kid cry
Hold on, one more

Well, I'm usually passin' by, but don't you know that this is my block
Uh huh, I never stop
When you see me passin' by, getcha dumb ass offa my block
And if I tell you more than one time, you'll be my regular stop
All right boys

I'm your ice cream man, stab you when I'm passin' by
I'm your ice cream man, stop me and I'll cut your tire
Kill all the competition, guaranteed to make a fat kid cry
One time, boys
I'm your ice cream man
I'm your ice cream man
B-b-b-b-b-b-b-baby
Ah my, my, my
All those fat kids are guaranteed to yell and... cr-uh-uh-yyyy
Ow ♪