The War On Thanksgiving

With all other problems in the world solved, today the President will take time to pardon a turkey. It's become a yearly tradition and a lot of people are fine with it. But I'll tell you what I believe. I believe the Turkey-Americans are trying to hijack this country and it's our duty to stop them.

By eating them.

If these birds had their way, we'd all be saying "Happy Turkey Day" instead of "Happy Thanksgiving" in November. Well, I, for one, am fed up. (Not literally, of course. That will happen on Thursday.)

Shortly after violently ripping this land from its' natives grasp many years ago, our forefathers founded this country on Thanksgiving. It's time to steal it back again, this time from our avian enemies.

Join me in refusing to shop at any grocery store that doesn't allow its' workers to use the word "Thanksgiving".

We need to stop these turkeys. So eat one this Thursday.

Do it for America.