Friday Football Profile: New Orleans Saints
Remember the movie The Usual Suspects? The ending was great: Chazz Palmintieri as the detective, standing in his office trying to figure out who the mysterious Keyser Soze is, when, all of a sudden, the pieces start falling into place. As he realizes it’s a gimpy Kevin Spacey, we see the club-footed Spacey hobbling down the street, gradually straightening out his leg, and finally walking normally. It’s a shocker; Spacey’s not who we thought he was all along.
This also describes the 2006 Chocolate City Saints, who are just full of surprises. They managed to straighten out their club foot and have shocked everybody by earning a mid-season, first place record of 6 and 2. And in the wide receiver position, you’ll find their Keyser Soze.
While fans and pundits have been making non-stop, sweet, verbal man-love to rookie running back Reggie Bush, rookie wide receiver Marques Colston (a 7th round, 252nd overall draft pick) has quietly shambled his way into Rookie of the Year contention. Hopefully, whichever un-demoted Steelers cornerback is covering him on Sunday will figure this out before Colston has left Heinz Field and climbed into a cab.
Another player to be wary of, of course, is the Saints' QB, Drew Brees. Despite having a name that sounds like it belongs to the manager of a Pier 1, Brees was honored as last week’s NFC Offensive Player of the Week. The good news for the Steelers is that Brees may lose focus on the game, distracted by thoughts of his psychotic mother, whom he recently threatened to sue for using his image in a political ad. If there’s a God, Joey Porter will be wearing a microphone and will try to find a way to incorporate this into his trash talking.
And finally, there’s the Saints’ veteran wide receiver, Joe Horn, who was thrust into the national spotlight a few years ago for a touchdown celebration that had him pulling a cell phone out of the goal post padding to mime a celebratory phone call to his mom. Needless to say, the crotchety old white guys in suits that run the NFL were none too happy and Horn had to cancel the following week’s TD celebration, in which he planned to wheel a small computer desk and chair out into the end zone and then pantomime writing a celebratory e-mail to his cousin June Bug, on his father’s side.
Enjoy the game and sorry if I ruined the movie for you.
(You really should have seen it by now.)