Friday Football Profile: Atlanta Falcons
Part of a continuing series designed to help you learn more about the Steelers' upcoming opponents. In the words of Michael Corleone, "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."
To be perfectly blunt, the main thing you need to know about the Atlanta Falcons is that they're all about sex. And, of course, blunts. But mostly sex.
Back in 1998, Falcon Jamal Anderson introduced a touchdown dance called "The Dirty Bird", the name of which is also a thinly-veiled sexual reference with several meanings, according to the Urban Dictionary. Look 'em up yourself right here, if you don't believe me, ya perv.
Today, the Falcons are a good team, in large part, due to their fleet-footed quarterback Michael Vick, who's known for not only spreading out defenses with his great running and passing abilities, but also spreading The Herp throughout the great state of Georgia. You might remember that last year, Vick allegedly passed a case of herpes to a woman who also claimed that he used the name "Ron Mexico" when visiting STD clinics. Which, from a comedy perspective, is freakin' awesome. Allegedly.
And finally, if you're still not convinced that this team is Freud's wet dream, their offensive right tackle's name is Todd Weiner. Which, of course, leads to Falcons fans exclaiming things like, "That Weiner is AWESOME" and "MAN, I love Weiner!" And just try to watch him run into the tunnel at half time without giggling.
As a side note, in retrospect, it's surprising that Michael Vick didn't just use "Todd Weiner" as his alias at the clinic.
Enjoy the game.