Dorothy Mantooth is a Saint

Sports, pop culture, and politics, Pittsburgh-style, with french fries on top.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

The State Of The Blog

Friends, strangers, the bored, the lonely, people who were looking for porn and accidentally arrived at this site: today the state of this blog is mediocre and I believe that, in 2007, together we will make it mediocrer-er.

(APPLAUSE)

In the year ahead, you will have many websites to choose from when you're looking to screw off at work. When you choose Dorothy Mantooth, however, you can be certain of a steadfast commitment to the following things:

Blatant hipocracy. We will continue to mock the local news networks for their shameless coverage of the Steelers while shamelessly writing more posts about Steeler football than anything else. Also, we will continue to misspell words, while chiding other websites for their spelling errors.

(APPLAUSE)

Stupid movies made by morons. As long as we desperately struggle to think of things to write about, we promise to fill the entertainment void with dumb-ass YouTube videos featuring (but not limited to) people falling off of roofs and getting kicked in the nuts (hopefully at the same time). We will tirelessly strive to steal these time-wasters from other, more legitimate websites, while acting as if we found the videos ourselves.

(APPLAUSE)

The occasional political rant. With politicians running this country and the world deep into the ground, the "End Times" can't be far off and we vow to sit in our undwear in the comfort of our own home and bitch on the intrawebs without actually doing anything remotely "constructive".

(APPLAUSE)

And so we move foreward, certain of nothing more than the insignifigance of these ramblings within the vast expanse of cyber space. And we surge ahead into 2007, faithful of the stupidity to come.

May God Bless the Internets.

(APPLAUSE)

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