Burgh Brother

Today might be a good day to stop by your local grocery store and stock up on tinfoil; according to today's Post Gazette, we need to start preparing hats to block the 24- hour-a-day surveillance that our overlords will soon be imposing upon us by way of hundreds of cameras across the city:

"Video cameras scattered throughout Downtown and other neighborhoods would eventually be linked in a surveillance network, under a proposal by Mayor Luke Ravenstahl and Allegheny County District Attorney Stephen A. Zappala Jr."
-Pittsburgh Post Gazette

Some offenses that, if caught on camera, will be cause for deportation and/or incarceration by Pittsburgh authorities:

• Removing french fries from any sandwich or salad

• Attempting to block Mayor Luke from meeting his favorite celebrities

• Coming in contact with anything or anyone from Cleveland and not acting in a mocking manner

• Using in vain the name of any 70's era Steeler

• Not beginning every news story with the word "Hey," (Wendy Bell only)

• Prank calling Adult Mart on McKnight Road and asking if they have any "Dick Skrinjars" in stock