Dorothy Mantooth is a Saint

Sports, pop culture, and politics, Pittsburgh-style, with french fries on top.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Burgh Brother

Today might be a good day to stop by your local grocery store and stock up on tinfoil; according to today's Post Gazette, we need to start preparing hats to block the 24- hour-a-day surveillance that our overlords will soon be imposing upon us by way of hundreds of cameras across the city:

"Video cameras scattered throughout Downtown and other neighborhoods would eventually be linked in a surveillance network, under a proposal by Mayor Luke Ravenstahl and Allegheny County District Attorney Stephen A. Zappala Jr."
-Pittsburgh Post Gazette

Some offenses that, if caught on camera, will be cause for deportation and/or incarceration by Pittsburgh authorities:

  • Removing french fries from any sandwich or salad

  • Attempting to block Mayor Luke from meeting his favorite celebrities

  • Coming in contact with anything or anyone from Cleveland and not acting in a mocking manner

  • Using in vain the name of any 70's era Steeler

  • Not beginning every news story with the word "Hey," (Wendy Bell only)

  • Prank calling Adult Mart on McKnight Road and asking if they have any "Dick Skrinjars" in stock

Labels: ,


Post a Comment

<< Home