And You Thought Driving While Text Messaging Was Dangerous

Odd story in today's paper about an accident in Somerset County:

Clark Fish was driving Sunday evening on Kuhntown Road in Jefferson Township, Somerset County, when, he told police, he "accidentally shot his hand with a .357 revolver," troopers said.
-Pittsburgh Post Gazette

Assuming he bought his car at one of the many fine Baierl Automotive showrooms in the Pittsburgh area, could we say that this story was like shooting Fish in a Baierl?

No?

Screw you, then. Maybe I'll just get back to work, if this is how you're gonna be.

Put Your Lettuce On Lockdown

We're sad to report that vegetable crime is apparently running rampant and unchecked in Somerset, PA:

"Someone kicked in the door of a man's apartment, stuck a knife in the door and took a chilled salad from his refrigerator."
-Pittsburgh Post Gazette

Lettuce be thankful that olive the other items in the house were left alone. The salad must have a peas'ed the thief, who obviously didn't carrot all about the victim. Although, it could have bean a much worse outcome, we suppose.

We're so, so sorry for this post. We know it leaves mushroom for improvement.

And no one could blame you for wanting to squash us.